I hadn't posted for a while coz i had my mgmt exams and i was supposed to read for it. Though i dint read much was the truth. Before reading this post let me tell u that i am a very very confident person basically.
Preview to the examz:
I had applied for MBA in 5 universities and the cruel part was i had to write 5 mgmt tests for it.
CAT - DEC 6
JMET - DEC 13
SNAP - DEC 20
XAT- JAN 3
FMS - JAN 10
My mom, dad, all relatives and friends were telling that i would get MBA in IIM, why write the others. I too felt I can get into IIM as i was supposed to be good in quant.
CAT - DEC 6:
CAT had gone online for the first time and there were reports of failures in the earlier batches and it was chaos all around. I had prepared well enough for CAT. Started early from home that day. Reached my center well before time. The 2 hours wait before the exam made me a little nervous. 2 hrs 15 min test. I had done decently well in DI n English sections but due to my poor time mgmt I lost heavily in quants. I came out disappointed knowing very well i screwed the exam. Then i felt i have an outside chance as the general feeling was Dec 6th paper was the toughest of the lot. Started thinking abt my next exam after my Failure No.1
JMET - DEC 13:
This management test was for the IITs. IIT-B was the best of the IITs. This was a 3hr exam with 4 sections. I did a good job of managing time and i thought i did decently well for 2.5 hrs till my old foe English returned to haunt me. I did so poorly in that section. So I came out knowing i screwed it again. Failure No.2 . When results came i was in a shock. No sectional cut-offs this year.. Phew!!!! Had i used that 30 min in other sections i would have scored more. Guess I had to screw it. I just about cleared cut-off with a score of 64.5 with a brilliant 4.5 score in English.
SNAP - DEC 20:
This was a comparatively easier exam and it was for Symbiosis group of institutes. It was a 2hrs test. I came out of the exam hall all smiles. I was really satisfied with my performance. I was eagerly awaiting the results. I got my results and I had a good score of 106.25 when all the websites had predicted a score of 95 plus as the cut-off for SIBM,Pune. I was really happy that day. SIBM was to release the merit list for GD/PI on 16th Jan. Got the shock of my life. Cut-off for SIBM was 107. I missed by 0.75 :( .It was English again which was the difference. I thought I had got enough but my enough wasn enough :(. It was a bitter pill to swallow. Having got so near yet so far. Few of my friends tried to help me out but all I did was show my anger over them. I would have rather done badly than coming this close. It was very very painful. An exam which i thought as success eventually became my Failure no. 3
XAT- JAN 3:
Nothing much to speak about this exam. I did it horrible. My good old foe English it was again. I screwed up the exam big time. With results not yet up, I ve no hopes about this. Lesser I speak , the better. Failure No.4!
FMS - JAN 10:
After XAT exam I all but knew I mostly will screw up FMS. My confidence was at an all time low. I just like that wrote FMS with no intent. Did ok. Nothing great. But no regrets. I knew I dint have it in me to do that well. Another Failure. Failure No.5! But I was really happy coz i wont have a Failure no.6 following this.
5 failures in 5 weeks shattered my confidence. My mom had told me always that I have it in me to be an MBA. After 5 examz i felt , Am I so bad that i cant clear even one exam? Definitely not. But my dreamz were shattered. I really feel so down, that I have started doubting my abilities. I never had the fear of failure till today. But now I do. I am not confident now. I am partly ashamed of myself and partly angry with myself for wasting my talent. Opportunity knocks the door only once they say! I really hope it knocks one more time in my life!!!!! And hope my streak of failure ends with Jan 10.
And hope is all what I have now.
