Failure! Failure! Failure! Failure! Failure!!!!!

                                     I hadn't posted for a while coz i had my mgmt exams and i was supposed to read for it. Though i dint read much was the truth. Before reading this post let me tell u that i am a very very confident person basically. 

Preview to the examz:

                                     I had applied for MBA in 5 universities and the cruel part was i had to write 5 mgmt tests for it. 

CAT - DEC 6 

JMET - DEC 13

SNAP - DEC 20

XAT- JAN 3

FMS - JAN 10

My mom, dad, all relatives and friends were telling that i would get MBA in IIM, why write the others. I too felt I can get into IIM as i was supposed to be good in quant.

CAT - DEC 6:

                          CAT had gone online for the first time and there were reports of failures in the earlier batches and it was chaos all around. I had prepared well enough for CAT. Started early from home that day. Reached my center well before time. The 2 hours wait before the exam made me a little nervous. 2 hrs 15 min test. I had done decently well in DI n English sections but due to my poor time mgmt I lost heavily in quants. I came out disappointed knowing very well i screwed the exam. Then i felt i have an outside chance as the general feeling was Dec 6th paper was the toughest of the lot. Started thinking abt my next exam after my Failure No.1 

JMET - DEC 13:

                               This management test was for the IITs. IIT-B was the best of the IITs. This was a 3hr exam with 4 sections. I did a good job of managing time and i thought i did decently well for 2.5 hrs till my old foe English returned to haunt me. I did so poorly in that section. So I came out knowing i screwed it again. Failure No.2 . When results came i was in a shock. No sectional cut-offs this year.. Phew!!!! Had i used that 30 min in other sections i would have scored more. Guess I had to screw it. I just about cleared cut-off with a score of 64.5 with a brilliant 4.5 score in English.

SNAP - DEC 20:

                               This was a comparatively easier exam and it was for Symbiosis group of institutes. It was a 2hrs test. I came out of the exam hall all smiles. I was really satisfied with my performance. I was eagerly awaiting the results. I got my results and I had a good score of 106.25 when all the websites had predicted a score of 95 plus as the cut-off for SIBM,Pune. I was really happy that day. SIBM was to release the merit list for GD/PI on 16th Jan. Got the shock of my life. Cut-off for SIBM was 107. I missed by 0.75 :( .It was English again which was the difference. I thought I had got enough but my enough wasn enough :(. It was a bitter pill to swallow. Having got so near yet so far. Few of my friends tried to help me out but all I did was show my anger over them. I would have rather done badly than coming this close. It was very very painful. An exam which i thought as success eventually became my Failure no. 3

XAT- JAN 3:

                          Nothing much to speak about this exam. I did it horrible. My good old foe English it was again. I screwed up the exam big time. With results not yet up, I ve no hopes about this. Lesser I speak , the better. Failure No.4!

FMS - JAN 10:

                             After XAT exam I all but knew I mostly will screw up FMS. My confidence was at an all time low. I just like that wrote FMS with no intent. Did ok. Nothing great. But no regrets. I knew I dint have it in me to do that well. Another Failure. Failure No.5! But I was really happy coz i wont have a Failure no.6 following this. 

5 failures in 5 weeks shattered my confidence. My mom had told me always that I have it in me to be an MBA. After 5 examz i felt , Am I so bad that i cant clear even one exam? Definitely not. But my dreamz were shattered. I really feel so down, that I have started doubting my abilities. I never had the fear of failure till today. But now I do. I am not confident now. I am partly ashamed of myself and partly angry with myself for wasting my talent. Opportunity knocks the door only once they say! I really hope it knocks one more time in my life!!!!! And hope my streak of failure ends with Jan 10.

                             And hope is all what I have now.

The Continuing Menace of 9 Car and 12 Car

To all those people who wonder wot is 9 car and 12 car and to the few who think 9 car means a car vth 9 wheels and 12 car is a car with 12 wheels, The 2 I mentioned above specify the number of compartments in local train running from beach to tambaram or chengalpet. And it is not tht only yesterday 12 car trains started running. Let us trace a lil back to the past. In the era of Meter Gauge trains first 5 car trains were running. With increased crowd it turned to 8 car and gradually to 9. When the broad gauge slowly replaced meter gauge, and the amount of people travelling by train increased exponentially, the Southern Railways decide to experiment with 12 car trains from beach to tambaram during peak hours. The experiment was a huge success. The crowd was distributed among 12 compartments. It was all good going till a month back. For some god known reason, the railway authorities felt for any train running from beach to tambaram, the last compartment should be near the end of the platform. It was fine with 12 car. With 9 car, as the last compartment position was near the rear end of the platform, the first compartment was somewhere near the middle. So whenever 9 car train came, there started the dash. A look at the dash to get in first, we will all think as if they r running for olympic 100m gold. It created havoc. A easy question to mind is "Why board in first compartment?". Its bcoz every1 of us including me is lazy. Most overbridges are near the front end of the platform. And one main imp. thing is tht every station has a board which specifies the time of arrival of train along with whether its a 9 car or 12 car. People plz dont see it. Coz whn 9 car is specified 12 car wl come and 12 car is mentioned 9 car will. In a period where railways are trying to minimise accidents is this running race necessary? Why the hell the changes made by railways are so frequent? They just create panic :(

P.S : If a man selling some fishes or some other goods is also in the race with u to board the train, Please board the next train. Coz by the time he puts all his materials into train and boards it , train wud ve strtd.

A pleasant and lovable journey made into a fight for survival.

How much of a nonsense ladies(including gals) make in public

Girls who read this post dont get livid. Its very true. U people create utter nonsense in public. Let me quote some instances.

1. Today evening while waiting to board train at mambalam station it was announced ladies special train is slated to arrive next. I was likeee wheeewww wot the hell. All the compartments were empty. A very rare sight. But then the gals who came along vth ther guy frenz dint board the train. The ladies who came with ther families dint board it. Then y the hell do they leave ladies special train. Scrap it with immediate effect. The next train was a train bound for chengalpet. Whewww wot a crowd!!!! And the hell ladies irritate me coz even tho a ladies spl train went , even tho ladies compartment s separate, these people will board into general compartment. Then were they expect us to board?? On the roof?? Utter mad people.

2. Today morning around 8 45 i was waiting in guindy to board bus for college. Boarding bus hell a lot difficult at this time as it wl be crowded. A 21 G bus came (routed by many as the most crowded bus). As is the norm ladies were let to board first and then gents. A gal with headphone in ears came running towards bus. So i got down to let her in. But seeing the crowd she felt wise not to board the bus. The bus also started in the mean time. I ran to catch it. After i boarded the bus i found i got too close to the barricade kept to slow down the traffic. Got a nice hit on my back but somehow held on to the bus vth my hands coz it was the case of my life. So hanged on. But till i reached coll i got damn used all bad words i cud use on tht gal.

Gals and ladies often fail to maintain public decorum. The sufferers are the gents(sometimes those coming vth them sometimes public) Pity those who come with them. They cant say a word too.

 

Life is never simple when u start liking it....

Well as a result of the past 3 months the ultimate which i was praying never will happen, did happen. Its pretty easy to say "I give up" . But knowing very well how much it will decimate the person who is hearing it I wonder if it is that easy to say. May be it is. Coz i was the receiving end of it. Anyways few people are indeed really really special to u that their success means everything to u. But still if u r not understood by that very person u ve left nothing except a locked room and 4 walls to hide ur emotions. Everybody on this earth tells college life is the best part of life. But i feel now why the hell college s 4 yrs why cudn't it have ended in 3. And Why does May 2010 seem so far apart? Why doesn't it come in 10days. I would love if it comes in 5 too :P . I hate my college life now. I want to go to far off place where no1 knows me. This is the toughest part of my coll life. But still my best friend has her GRE exam on aug 20. So mind still on it. I wish she gets a perfect score. Coz indeed that s the only place where i can atleast see a small ray of happiness in the gloomy life of mine. This part of my life is living alone.


"Ke Aditi maana kabhi-kabhi saare jahan mein andhera hota hai;
Lekin raat ke baad hi to sabera hota hai"

Hoping from somewhere the rays of sunlight will come to eliminate the darkness in my life

How much to change urself for the person u like.

I was a very short tempered person till a year back. But it hurt my friends quite badly. So i started to control my temper. My openness which my frenz liked a lot before, became a thing of concern now. So i thought i will change myself again for them as they dint like me being so open. But there came the toughest phase of my career. Am i losing myself in trying to change. But losing friends was even more painful. So i brought it upon myself to change my very "basic nature". I started thinking ways to make them happy always. I have achieved that a little now. But I did realise a big truth in this phase of my coll life. My happiness indeed lies with their happiness. And above all the biggest happiness i got is seeing my best frenz happy. And here I end with the few lines which tell about my frenz,

"Kaise Mujhe mil gayi tum,
Kismat main aayi na yakeen"

How much can u like a person!!!

This is my first real post and those who view plz pardon my way of writing. The last 3 months have been frenetic for me. So thought will start my blog with my current status now. Oki here i am. Well i am a very frank person and tell things out openly.Wot will any1 do when his best frend is double crossed? protect her.. Right? I did the same.. But i just over did it. My frend felt am intruding into her privacy and started moving away from me. Wot cud i ve done? She started feeling she cant be comfortable vth me. Now i feel a sense of avoidance. I try in every way to make her happy. But when v get new frenz shud v 4get old frenz? leave them alone? Doesn't any1 know people do miss their old frenz badly? People advice me to give up. But i feel may be i dont love my frend as much as she wants me to. I want to love her more than i do now. But i just hope someday she decides to talk with me. It has affected me a lot. I am trying to change myself to any level to make her happy but as of now i am a silent spectator seeing her happy 4m long distance. I wish i get sometime to spend with her. Just she n me alone. But i dont think her new frenz will let me have that. But here i am telling the truth. The more she moves away 4m me the more i become weak. Signing off my first blog here by telling

"Soch zara jaane ja tujhkko ham kitna chahthe hain

Rotein hain hum bhi agar teri aankhon main aasoo aathein hain"